Men who can’t get sex are seen as losers

We hear a lot about double standards between female and male sexual behaviour. Women who have a lot of sex are often slut shamed, while men who have lots of sex are seen as ‘studs.’ What is often ignored however, is how true the exact inverse of this is. Men who cannot get sex are seen as losers and lampooned as members of the most derided group in society…incels.

Meanwhile, perpetually single women are celebrated in society and we lament the lack of good men out there. Examples of this include the 2019 Psychology Today article, Are There Not Enough…


You see the image and you already know what this is about. You may be suffering from a certain level of fatigue with this story but don’t worry this is not another “what really happened?” piece. Enough has been said in exploring this episode, the way in which it was misrepresented, the “emerging footage”, the half retractions, the double downs and the disintegration of the legitimacy of the “Vietnam Veteran” narrative.

I’m not as interested in the play by play of how the ‘incident’ unfolded, although I do suggest people watch the full video and come to their own conclusions…


It wasn’t until I moved from Ireland to England at the age of 22 that I realised that not all gay men were stereotypically camp. Regretfully, I had an erroneous vision of gay men as effeminate, flamboyant, limp wristed and somewhat…silly. I was happily surprised to encounter masculine, sophisticated and mature men…who just happened to be gay.

This was not out of some homophobic Catholic Irish upbringing either, Ireland has proven itself to be one of the most progressive countries in the world on this front. …


What started off as a harmless internet meme to poke fun at a stereotype that we all recognise has turned into something a lot darker.

I now simply must take it upon myself to mansplain the Karen phenomenon to you all.

This essay aims to explore the following,

  • Who is Karen and does she have a dark side?
  • What has been the backlash to the Karen phenomenon?
  • Why are people keen to engineer Karen incidents?
  • Why is Karen held in such disdain?
  • Who should speak about Karen?

Who is ‘Karen’?

You’d recognize Karen.

There’s even an iconic ‘Karen’ aesthetic with the classic short…


The following is an essay based on an updated transcript of my opening remarks at the Battle of Ideas 2019 where I spoke on a panel on the topic of, “Individuals Vs Identities: Can we move beyond Tribal Politics?”

I feel the sentiment is more relevant now than ever.

Identity over Individuality & Suffering over Achievements

How has our cultural discourse come to the stage where, at a recent wedding, I found myself lampooned as a racist by a gay couple for quoting Martin Luther King?

“I have a dream that one day people should be judged by the content of their character rather than the colour…

William Costello

Irish man in Birmingham. Battle of Ideas: Birmingham Salon Debates member

Get the Medium app

A button that says 'Download on the App Store', and if clicked it will lead you to the iOS App store
A button that says 'Get it on, Google Play', and if clicked it will lead you to the Google Play store